he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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