I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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