Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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