It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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