Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize