it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize