i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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