Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize