I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You don't make any sense
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