I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize