I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize