If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to make out with him forever
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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