hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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