Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize