i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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