whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize