ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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