Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
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ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize