matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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