What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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