She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
soo... how was my night?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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