State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
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The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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