I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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