Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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