i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i out mim tonsoeep
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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