Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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