Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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