K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize