was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
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I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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