i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
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Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
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come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
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