i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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