...so i touched it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize