Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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