Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize