I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
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She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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