Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize