so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize