she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize