He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize