What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
love makes seman taste better
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize