My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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