I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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