im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
why do cheetos always look like penises
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
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I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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