6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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