ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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