last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize