We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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