And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize