I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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