wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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